festive season.

one of my three christmas presents this year. from ta.

Christmas is finally over. Days full of physical exhaustion, love, excitement and quality time with the family. My little brother and cousin visited mom and me for christmas and my best girl Yi spent the days at my place with us as well. On the nights out on 24th and 25th i saw some of my best mates. It couldnt have been any better. Barely anyone has wished me a merry christmas except for my truly most most most beloved ones. Maybe because i dont have a phone right now and couldnt check my messages yet, or maybe because people who are friends with me but are not too close to me cant even be bothered to be polite. I couldnt either. I didnt wish anyone a merry christmas except for the most beloved ones in my life right now. I couldnt even be bothered to update my facebook status. Because in fact, i dont care. I dont care about all these people. At the end of the day, those people who love me will be with me. And iam with them, too, because i want to.

We smoked a lot, we drank a lot, we ate a lot. It was all good. We are heading towards the end of the year real fast now, i have a couple more days to reflect myself, the self of 2011. Yes, iam the kind of person, who is determined to change herself, only because a new year starts haha. Yes, i know if i really really really wanted to i could change myself anytime, wouldnt have to be New Years Eve. Whatever, i have changed for the better this year actually. Iam more like i wanted to be a year ago. More confident. But for some reason iam still not happy. Because iam more confident in social aspects and about myself. But still not confident about what i do. I should find myself this sparkle of confidence that kills the inferiority complexes. Find myself this something iam good at, this something iam being valued for, so i dont have to feel insecure about my artistic productivity anymore.

Btw iam off for skiing. Will be back with experience reports ! I have never ever been skiing before !!! And in fact i hate coldness and snow and sports in general...... Oh my !