#JULIADOAN

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depressions.

July 24, 2013 by Julia Doan in "thoughts", "at night", "daily"

They are not going away. I just used suicide in an actual sentence to my boyfriend. Wtf is wrong with me. Iam so tired of crying and feeling like the shittest person around. I feel empty. And full. Full of self-hatred. Nothing else. No self-respect, no confidence. Gosh it's 7am already. I spent all night crying again.

July 24, 2013 /Julia Doan
"thoughts", "at night", "daily"
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MY INSTAGRAM: @DOANJULIA / SNAPCHAT: DOAN.JULIA

Do I ever think about going back to Germany ? That’s a question I get a lot, especially now that I have JJ. And honestly, it’s a really difficult question for me to answer. I have built up my life in Saigon to be something I’m so grateful for, I would have never been imagined it to ever be like this. But at the same time I’m dying to live in a beautiful ‘Altbauwohnung’ and just to stroll around with JJ going to the nearest ‘Spielplatz’. Saigon has many other things to offer. It is a very convenient city. I still know why I moved here in the first place. It’s a city where dreams can become reality. It’s buzzing with opportunities. And opportunities are something I’m afraid to miss if I were to move back to Germany. What would I do over there? Maybe work @floralpunk from afar with quarterly business trips? How could I live without my current helper ? She is honestly the best and I’d miss her so much. There are so many factors I’d have to consider very very carefully. The hardest one is, what about anh Nam ? He has never been to Germany and moving to another country you barely know is a really big matter. For now it’s still out of the question but if we were to have a second baby we’d definitely consider. #juliadoandiary
Lam cai sample tui nay, de tren van phong ca thang roi khong dung toi, up hinh nay tu nhien rat nhieu nguoi quan tam nen hom nay da chot voi xuong tui va sap co rui nha cac chi em 🙆🏻‍♀️❤️ #wearfloralpunk
Everyday kinda outfit. I have reduced my wardrobe so much to the extend @southpreme desperately wants me to go shopping 🤣 #juliadoan #minimalisme
I have way too many unposted photos of us 🌚 📷 @quocanhvle // #giađìnhjj
Xuong nho nho cua ong noi JJ va bo Nam set up xong rui 💪🏻 Nhung cai kho nhat: kiem tho may dep 🤣 vi muon lam chat luong cao cho moi nguoi nen cai phan nay se kho tht su. Nhung for now van co ong ba noi 🙆🏻‍♀️
Why am I so goddamn sentimental lately 🤔 Anyway, here is a photo of me 12 hours before giving birth to JJ and some photos of me and JJ in Da Nang a few months back. Look at her face in the last photo 🤣 #juliadoan
Popping a bottle of champaign at a fancy club you can actually afford. Technically being able to buy any luxury bag you want to. Those were my superficial ambitions when I was 18. Because I felt so goddamn inferior. I wasn’t pretty enough. I wasn’t cool enough. I wasn’t ‘rich’ enough. I remember when I was 18 and walked into Selfridges in London, passed the Balenciaga stall and felt such a strong sense of purpose and disappointment at the same time. I looked at the price tag and it made my financial positioning very clear. I didn’t have enough in order to be able to purchase that bag. At the same time I swore to myself, one day I’m gonna walk into that Selfridges and buy whatever the hell I want. That was one of the key moments in my life. I have always been a hard working person. Even more for salary. School didn’t give me too much ambition because I felt like the payoff wasn’t so good. My dad always told me, ‘You don’t have to be good at school, you just need to learn how to make money’. (Yeah, I had one of those dads. He probably is the one who triggered all my entrepreneurial spirits from very early on.) Anyway, that’s what I did. I worked all the time. I observed how the people I worked for did it. My way of saving money was making more money than I’d actually make. Not spending less and making the same. When I learned that a 21-year old could have her own business, I was super thrilled. I could sell things I liked and make money out of it. Sounded amazing to me. And I’ve seen all the kids in Vietnam doing it and it inspired me so much. This is another version on how and why I started @floralpunk. By now I don’t aim for bags or luxury things anymore though. I’m pretty content with my more minimalist approach to life. But my entrepreneurial spirit and love for working hard with cash as payoff still drive and influence my business a lot. But that’s a different matter. A matter that often leads to burnout and stress lol. I’m just reminiscing. About my childish ambitions that got me to where Iam today 🤣 I’m glad I haven’t failed my 18-year old self though. // Photo shot by @qmike long long time ago in London 🌚 #unhiddenthoughts
I used to be crazily crazily CRAZILY afraid of public speaking. You cannot imagine how I literally wanted to die every time I had to give a presentation in front of class. I would sweat, stutter and just not be able to bring across my presentation. In all my school years my research has always been pretty decent and I always tried to build up my content interestingly but when it came to actually speaking, I always failed. In group works I was usually to blame for bad reviews. I simply was not able to talk in front of people. One thing that really helped me overcoming this problem was Youtube. Now every time I attend an event and actually have to speak in front of a crowd, I just imagine myself filming a Youtube video and talking to you guys instead of a couple hundred strangers in the room. By now I’m pretty comfortable with sitting in a panel and discussing things with other people, but solo presentations or speeches still freak me out a little. Shaky voice, shaking body but hey, at least no complete black out 🤣 #juliadoandiary #juliadoan
We finally made itttttt. @floralpunk is now open at Takashimaya ❤️❤️❤️ our retail experience is something I have constantly been working on with the team for five years and we have come to the point at which I feel comfortable scaling up in terms of retail stores. We have that one specific style now. We try to mix it up a little for every single store in terms of furniture but when it comes to material mix I’m pretty happy with what we have created for @floralpunk 😍 even when I walk around in Seoul or Bangkok, I keep thinking, ‘oh, Floralpunk would look good and fit in here’. And those visions are the ones that keep me going, aiming for more 🌚🖤 also check JJ’s pose on the last photo 🤣 #juliadoandiary #floralpunk #floralpunktakashimaya
JJ’s room at #maisondoan 🌚🖤 #kidsplayroom
I can’t believe I’m 27 now. Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes, flowers and presents 🌚🖤 Love you allllll 🍾
Do you know that feeling when you try to be the funniest, most extrovert version of yourself but simple fail and end up being stuck in a conversation in which you have nothing to say ? Honestly, it happens to me all the time. In my job I meet a lot of people and very often I really don’t know how to do small talk 🥺 it always depends on my mood whether I feel confident or not that specific day. I have come a lonnnngggg way from the super shy and introvert girl I used to be, but sometimes I still wonder how I would have ever made it this far without social media 🤔 #juliadoandiary #introvert turned #ambivert