anger.
I stopped feeling hatred for people ages ago. I never seriously hate anyone. Every has their reasons for certain actions and iam noone to judge those actions. Of course i do get angry at people. But anger fades away very easily as well.
Iam so upset right now. I havnt said 'i hate you' for so many years. But right now i just feel like screaming it out loud. I always think i have to be reasonable. But then again, why the fuck should i ? So what if people tell me that iam unreasonable afterwards. What if i act bad when i feel hurt ? Shit, all my life i have swallowed every shit happening to me thinking, oh they have reasons for treating me this way. But why do i even think like that, to their advantage ? Why dont i just think, hey, they SUCK for treating me that way and i deserve to be treated better ? People told me, you deserve better. I never listened to it because i thought it was bullshit. Iam simply a very very thoughtful and reasonable person. But have these features ever helped me in any way ?
Fuck every aspect of my personality now is due to my first boyfriend. I have never had a very strong personality and a lot of confidence. But he smashed it even more. Ever since, i cant get rid of the feeling of being inferior to other people. Thats why iam in no position to judge them either. I always think about things from two different angles and come to different conclusions. You have no idea what pain in the ass it is. Never coming to one conclusion.
Iam so upset right now. I havnt said 'i hate you' for so many years. But right now i just feel like screaming it out loud. I always think i have to be reasonable. But then again, why the fuck should i ? So what if people tell me that iam unreasonable afterwards. What if i act bad when i feel hurt ? Shit, all my life i have swallowed every shit happening to me thinking, oh they have reasons for treating me this way. But why do i even think like that, to their advantage ? Why dont i just think, hey, they SUCK for treating me that way and i deserve to be treated better ? People told me, you deserve better. I never listened to it because i thought it was bullshit. Iam simply a very very thoughtful and reasonable person. But have these features ever helped me in any way ?
Fuck every aspect of my personality now is due to my first boyfriend. I have never had a very strong personality and a lot of confidence. But he smashed it even more. Ever since, i cant get rid of the feeling of being inferior to other people. Thats why iam in no position to judge them either. I always think about things from two different angles and come to different conclusions. You have no idea what pain in the ass it is. Never coming to one conclusion.