fml, seriously.

"Dear Julia,

In order to ensure we remain at the forefront of creative media education, we have made the decision to update the curriculum to reflect the latest changes in the industry. Many of these changes require re-fitting and restructuring of our existing facilities, and the expansion and change is already in progress.

Because of this process we have decided to postpone the start of the next Digital Journalism Diploma course to October 2012, we therefore kindly ask you to let us know if you want your application to be deferred to the October intake or if you would prefer to withdraw your application for the course. 

 Please be aware that we will try to start the course in May 2012, however we are not able to confirm it at this stage. We will inform you in due time should we be in a position to commence an intake in May 2011. Sincere apologies for any inconvenience caused."

ARE U FREAKING KIDDING ME was my very first thought. Ever since i got this E-mail iam back in this situation of having absolutely no idea what to do. Should i just spend another year idling my life away, working here and there, kinda saving money, kinda learning chinese, kinda wasting my youth and energy drinking it up and puking it out almost every night ? Iam really tired of my lifestyle right now, i want to get back to normality, lead a kinda more ordinary life and not wake up at 6 pm and seeing the sun go down when i head to work and am late again cos i was so fucking drunk the night before or cos i was so tired that i slept 13 hours again. Iam so so so tired of the way iam living right now. I know its a thing easy to fix, but if you guys knew me and knew how strong my ambition is..... its basically non-existent. Its easy to say things. I suck at implementation. And i was so looking forward to London, seriously. And what i was gonna learn at that stupid school. I miss studying. Instead of broadening my horizont, what do i do, i do damage to my few brain cells that are left. Can you imagine that in Vietnam i actually drank alcohol pretty much every single day for about two months ? I really miss school. I want to learn something. Even though iam taking chinese lessons, its not very satisfying. I have so many questions in my head, and there are so many things i wanna do, and i want to learn how to do them. Maybe i should just do a lot of different courses until i can decide which life-changing path im gonna take. Actually i dont have much choice do i ? Even if i decide to study something else i would have to wait until october next year anyway, right ? And that course sounds pretty interesting tbh. I think im gonna check the dates for the same course but at different locations now... like Berlin or something... Maybe i should wait a year and study in Germany for now.. I really dont know.