Little efforts

Ok my sleeping problems have escalated....  

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I have never been an early-sleeper, but lately my sleeping habits and my bedtime routine are getting very unhealthy. I go to bed with work on my mind and the first thing I do when I wake up is checking my phone and getting stressed out over work again. My whole life is just work and work right now, and yes I know that’s not good but even worse when you’re pregnant. I really have to start to accept the fact that it’s ok if christmas is not going to be as picture-perfect as I hope it will be. And I should also be less of a control-freak and just let the girls do. I have overly high expectations for christmas sales, and if sales is bad, it’s a reflection of my work, or that’s how I feel : ( like I didn’t try hard enough. Because I know all our bugs and what can still be improved, so of course I want to fix them. But yeah, not good. Take time for JJ and Juju ! Take time to get prepared for parenthood ! How about finish setting up the apartment first before doing everything for Floralpunk haha. 

I will charge my phone on the other side of the bed from now on and after I wake up, I will go through my morning routine of brushing my teeth, taking Juju out, a cup of tea and getting ready before I check my phone ! Weird how breakfast is not even part of my morning routine. I should have breakfast. And now I should sleep.  

PREGNANCY UPDATE #WEEK33

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Some #unhiddenthoughts from my Instagram: "Growing up in a not so picture-perfect family (even though we all got through with it and get along now), those circumstances deeply shaped the person that Iam today. I’m not the most affectionate, loving and caring person. I know it. Giving another person a hug is awkward, unless I’m drunk. I don’t know how to make somebody else feel loved and treasured and appreciated. Because those feelings were never shown to me when I grew up. But I don’t want to be that kind of mother. I want JJ to grow up happy, feeling loved and carefree. I now know that my mom has always loved me, but she herself didn’t know any way to show it. So I grew up thinking that she didn’t. I cried myself to sleep more times than I remember, hated myself, hated my life. Always felt like I didn’t belong. So I hope that I can somehow spark the ability to show affection and to be loving, not just in thought, but also in gesture, so my baby girl will never have to feel not appreciated and valued by me."

I was feeling a little insecure I guess but today is the next day and I'm sure everything will be ok ! 

PREGNANCY UPDATE #WEEK32

OHMYGOD ! I'M EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT ! EIGHT MONTHS !!!

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Julia Doan 32 weeks pregnant.jpg

Honestly speaking, I have not so many things to say about my pregnancy, because time goes by so fast and before I could even really enjoy anything about my pregnancy, I'm already eight months pregnant and only have one month left. Only a little over a month and I will be holding Julia Junior in my arms. I still cannot believe it. Like seriously, when I think of it I have to smile so big, because it's kind of incredible to me. JJ growing in my belly and then actually turn into a baby haha. I'm not so much looking forward to giving birth, but everything that comes after, don't worry JJ, mom will take careeeeeeee. Please just come out healthy and happy. I'm stressed but I'm happy actually. Like there is nothing that really makes me sad or feel miserable. It's just work that stresses me out. It's an unplanned pregnancy so I have to align work with the time preparing for JJ, I have no choice. Not caring about Floralpunk and just let it go down is not an option, especially not right before christmas season. So yeah, we also recently moved, so here a mirror selfie in our new bedroom.