Visual Beauty - no more and no less.

I don't even know how to start this. I decided for myself that I want to dedicate my life to creating and surrounding myself with beauty. This might sound super superficial, and I can think of a billion reasons why people can get it into the wrong throat, but it's something I have decided for myself, and it's my life, so if you want to judge me, look at yourself first. Because it sounds so easy, right ? I want to buy beautiful flowers, I want to have nice clothes, I want a pretty home and I want to travel and see all the beauty our world has to offer. That is what I long for and work for. And one thing I can tell you. It's hard. It's a damn fucking hard way of living that I chose for myself. Everything that I long for requires so much work, time and money. You go on Instagram, see those girls with their cool outfits and fancy homes. You admire them and think their lives are so great. But do you also look at how much effort they had to put in it to achieve this visual beauty that they showcase to the world ?

Even just buying fresh flowers every week is a luxury that not everyone can afford. The prettiest flowers are the most expensive ones. And where does the money come from to buy them ? Work. Take these flowers home to your gorgeous apartment. Even if you just buy stuff at Ikea, interior is pricey still. And if you want a unique and cosy home, it requires a lot of time as well. Because who goes to Ikea one time and gets everything from there ? It takes dedication, ambition and effort to visualize the ideas in your head. Because let's be honest. It's way cheaper and simpler to have an ugly, messy home. The kind of home that I long for, bright, clean and pretty, of course, would require cleaning every single day and a lot of money and time to get it together. What I'm trying to say is, if you decide to live a life surrounded by, to you, beautiful things, it's not as easy as it looks on Instagram. It's time-, nerve- and money-wrecking. But I'm willing to work towards it. To give my all so I can have all that I long for. I don't dare complaining about it, because I really and truly want it from the bottom of my heart. Surrounding myself with things beautiful to me. Even if it's just one single flower and one beautiful jewelry box or whatsoever for now, they make me happy already. I will try to create the visuals, that surround me on a daily base, according to my imagination. Because I don't think that I will ever be able to care less. I cannot not care about visual beauty.