Lonely

My glass is always half full, but also half empty.

We finished the renovation for the new store. It's not perfect, not everything is like I want it to be, but oh well, we all start somewhere. I can't wait to move, but at the same time I feel so reluctant to. Out of another comfort zone, stepping into a new project that urges for perfection. Because I always want everything to be as good as it can be, until it becomes another comfort zone. And as it often is with comfort zones, we are so used to them that we lack the ambition to change them. Anyway this new place ain't no comfort zone yet so it requires a lot of work.

The problem is, it requires a lot of offline work. Non-digital stuff. And when it comes to that, I suck. I'm the worst procrastinator when I have to run errands. Or even just getting a hair cut or getting my nails done will become something that something inside of me is reluctant to do. I have no explanation for this side of me, but that's how I am. I'm trying to fight it with to-do lists, but all the unfinished tasks on that list make me just even unhappier. My loneliness and lack of friends here doesn't make it any better. Except for my boyfriend, there's not really many people I'd just meet for a coffee. I'm actually not much of the socialising kind. There's no one I can hang with all day every day and there's no one who would want to hang with me all day every day. That's why I'm quite happy that my best friend Yi will come visit me in two weeks. Even if it's just for one week. I can't wait to show her my life here and I hope she will like it. Anyway, smoking and writing a blog entry says all about my emotional state right now. Just a bottle of beer missing.