Sometimes you get into these unexpected and unwanted situations in which you just feel miserable and uncertain. Those moments are actually the ones that trigger something inside of me. They make me think about what weaknesses I have in my life and what I truly want to achieve in life. Those situations make me realise what I want and what I definitely do not want. This again leads me to think about how to avoid the unwanted and how to achieve the wanted. I have never been a child of acceptance. I tend to think that I can do better, so I will always continuously strive to do better. This kind of thinking sometimes slowes down a bit though, because you cannot learn from misery every single day, because you don’t usually get into miserable situations every day. Just the way that you are not 1000% ambitious every day. There are times when you feel more and less ambitious, even if you are overall ambitious. And I think it’s really the bottom parts in life that push you to climb higher and higher. Those days in your life when you feel absolutely like you just got your heart broken, this extremely unsatisfying feeling of having achieved nothing and the world is all against you, are absolutely necessary for you to think. And thinking is important. Because you are an ambitious person, most of the time you do. You do the things that you think need to be done and are right. You don’t think about how it feels like to be in a shit situation. You just aim to reach even better results for your life, but that is something that can’t go on forever. Sometimes life has to pull you back and smack you in your face to tell you, ‘Hey, look at what your life is like. Look at it clearly and think about it, before you just keep doing and doing!’. 

So this is exactly what happened to me today. We had a really horrible first day in Milan, our Airbnb host cancelled out reservation without telling us, we waiter for her, she didn’t reply, we contacted Airbnb and they notified us about the cancellation but also refusing to refund out money, even though it was just all a huge misunderstanding due to lack of 3G. (Wtf, seriously, what if the guests got pickpocked and then the host would treat them like this, just refusing them without another place to stay, that’s just so unreasonable ! Anyway, that’s what happened to us. After having waited for three hours we had to look for a new place to stay and it was such a pain in the ass. We had to drag out suitcases here and there and eventually found a cheap hostel that didn’t have only negative comments about Hygiene. You can’t imagine how much stress we went through, we spent half of our first day in Milano looking for accommodation, just because we got cancelled (underfunded) by Airbnb. SO unreasonable. We are 23 and 24, we can look after ourselves, but imagine this happening to 18-year olds who have no clue about nothing ?? (I used to travel by myself to Taipei and Hong Kong when I was 18 and booked my accomondations through airbnb, luckily everything went well.) And I didn’t even get to sleep last night ! I have been awake for more than 30 hours and seriously, right now I just feel like I want to die. I’m going to sleep now and hope that I can forget about the misery of this day, which I never want to encounter ever again. Next time I have to encounter a situation like this I want to be able to just pull out my credit card and book another hotel, 400$, no problem. Seriously, I cannot live imaging that I forever have to be broke af, like I am now. Of course I knew this before already, but thanks to today’s occurrences, I’m even more aware of what I want in life, and what not. I definitely do not want to stay in a cheap hostel when my actual booking happens to be cancelled last-minute. I don’t want to have to live with such uncertainty. I hate uncertainty. That’s why I have to make the things I want to achieve more certain by working harder and smarter. 

This post was written under bad wifi influence, hence the layout is just how it has always been since Xanga times. Block of photos first, too much text afterwards. I will do the proper diary entry tomorrow when I'm back in Munich with faster wifi. But Milano is really beautiful. So much for sure !