Words of my life

I wish that I had been more patient during my late teens. If I had known what I know now, life would have been a lot less miserable. And I was miserable pretty much always and most of the time. I felt like pretty much all kids feel, who just finished high school. Unless you are one of the few lucky ones who truly have a passion like playing cello or maths. I was the kind of girl, I was not good at school, I didn't do any other activities except for internet, and I wasn't aware of any other talents of mine either. The thing is, when you go to school and when you are young, things like singing or dancing are talents. The big attention-getting things. It took me many many many more years to realize my own talents, which are not even talents in the regular sense. But in a way they are still talents. And everyone has such talents, but society doesn't really promote them as talents, even though it would help so many kids feeling a lot better. One of mine is indifference. Yes, guess what, your teacher will never ever tell you, wow you're so indifferent and that's great ! Actually some people would consider it a bad trait but combined with a decent level of being nice, it has helped me in so many situations in my life and also got me opportunities. And that way I'm also able to keep some of my friends in my life. Who I love dearly but might be considered exhausting to others. Thanks to my indifference, I'm being able to endure them, without ever getting into a fight or to the extent that I have to get annoyed. I never get into any arguments or fights. Never. Ever. Whenever I have to deal with a difficult situation that requires confrontation, I just decide that I don't care, and that way it won't affect me in a bad way. And yes, I'm good at that. Isn't that a talent? Haha. Like when I was still working as a waitress, we had really difficult customers sometimes, but I never felt enough passion to get upset about them. I didn't really care, no matter how annoying they were. I just smiled it away and worked like they didn't just treat me badly. I wouldn't even know about a lot of my good traits if it wasn't for all the people I have met throughout the past years. When I was 18, my own view of myself was: lazy, stubborn, lazy, lazy, useless, procrastinator, overly emotional, depressive, no passion, no skills. There were so many other people who were good at something and I just felt like I wasn't good at anything. And I was chubby too =.= The future really did look hopeless to me. But then I found Floralpunk and it just changed my whole life. Suddenly I had this baby and I had to look after it, and grow it. I had responsibilities and I felt the urge to make it bigger and better. That's really how I started becoming who Iam now. Right now at 23, I would consider myself hardworking, ambitious, persistent and still a bit lazy though : ) I'm still always a procrastinator but it gets better and better. I also started opening up and ask people for help now. I rely on other people like my staff, which I was never able to do in my teenage years. I never learned to rely on anyone. Not even my parents. I was always the loner. When I needed help I'd google the answer, or just didn't ask for help and rather endure consequences. I learned that it's important to ask for what you need. If you can't find the way, just ask for it. Ask with a smile and people will meet you with kindness. If I had just known this earlier, I would have had a lot less struggle. What I have also learnt is, I know it's easy to daydream and thinking 'wow, it would be so nice to be a famous fashion blogger'. But let me tell you one very last time. Dreams don't work unless you do. This daydreaming of a better life is the result of a lack of knowledge. Because if you know how much work it is to maintain a good blog or film a good youtube videos, you wouldn't daydream about it. If you knew how things work, you would be able to do them. Knowledge is the key to everything. It's the one step that separates you from wanting to be a youtuber and actually being one. So if you think you want to be a stylist and see no way of becoming one, do your research. Google the shit out of 'being a stylist'. And once you're done with your research you can start doing by creating a to-do list. Making your dreams come true is hard work. They don't just happen. Even if you have no passion at all, like me, you still can do things that you at least have an interest in, and just google the shit out of it. Even if you are still not passionate, at least you will have knowledge. And you can work on getting better at something you are at least interested in. And at some point you might find your passion. When I first started Floralpunk, I didn't know a single thing about business, running an online shop, marketing, retail, fashion or actually anything. I just knew, these earrings are pretty, I want to sell them. And because of that aim, I had to find out everything about how to reach it faster and with better results. That's how my own journey started. Just like that suddenly I had the thing I was able to work on. The most important things is asking yourself how to do better. Always. And the urge to find solutions. This drive is how you turn from 18-year old unambitious, lazy loner to 23-year old ambitious girlboss. I mean things are still hard sometimes because you never know everything and there are a lot of things lying out of your hands, but just fucking keep trying. No matter what you want to do, this is your first step: google. No google is not paying me for this, and I could also say go to the library and look for topic-related publications but man, who am I kidding haha. I really hope that this post moves some of you guys, and makes you feel like, oh I really want to do this one thing, and I don't know how, so I should find out how. This is what I want you to do. NOW! Just kidding haha. This post is probably not well scripted because I changed topic here and there but well yeah, that's me and my freestyle writing lol.